What I've Learned

2001

A number of years ago, the minister (Dr. Roger Teel) at the church I attend said, "It is better to want what you have than to have what you want." I found the statement so surprising, and at the time upsetting, that I wrote it down. I spent much of the next year with this thought at the center of my meditation and prayer. What I saw in my life at the time was unemployment, a mountain of debt and a fear of bankruptcy, a burning desire to be published and drawers full of rejection letters, and an overriding fear that things would never get better.

It is better to want what you have ... And so I began this terrifying and ultimately fabulous journey of noticing, really noticing what I had in my life. Wonderful children who were thriving in spite of our circumstances, a loyal and wonderful man who was my husband, supportive and caring friends, my health, my talent, a dog who always met me at the door with unconditional love, enough income to keep the wolf at the door on the outside, and so many other things that I simply had not noticed.

Amazingly, the more I focused on wanting what I already had, the more my troubles faded into the background. The more I was genuinely from-the-bottom-of-my-heart thankful for those things already present in my life, the more good came into my life. A terrific job opened up that solved the financial worries. I continued to write with renewed confidence and joy ... and I eventually sold that first novel, which was then followed by others. The more I saw how truly blessed my life is, the more blessed it became. The quote that follows sums up my journey beautifully.

If you look to others for fulfillment, you will never truly be fulfilled.
If your happiness depends on money, you will never be happy with yourself.
Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are.
When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.

— Lao Tzu

Along my journey, I was once fired from a job that I really loved, and during the months preceding I knew that one of my peers was systematically undermining me though I refused to believe that she could destroy my reputation with mere words. That I could leave a place of employment with my reputation so in tatters was devastating to me until I found this poem, which put the experience in perspective.

Reputation and Character

The circumstances amid which you life determine your reputation; the truth you believe determines your character.
Reputation is what you are supposed to be; character is what you are.
Reputation is the photograph; character is the face.
Reputation comes over one from without; character grows up from within.
Reputation is what you have when you come to a new community; character is what you have when you go away.
Your reputation is learned in an hour; your character does not come to light for a year.
Reputation is made in a moment; character is built in a lifetime.
Reputation grows like a mushroom; character grows like the oak.
A single newspaper report gives you your reputation; a life of toil gives you your character.
Reputation makes you rich or makes you poor; character makes you happy or makes you miserable.
Reputation is what men say about you on your tombstone; character is what angels say about you before the throne of God.

—William Hersey Davis

The following principles are in two prominent places in my home—next to the closet door where I can't help but see them and next to my desk in that place I often stare as my fingers are poised over the keys waiting for that next instant of inspiration.

Sharon's Principles to Live By

Live by the Golden Rule.
Be thankful.
Lead by example.
Live joyously.
Seek first to understand rather than to be understood.
Release yesterday's stuff.
Live in the moment now.
Look forward to the future rather than backward to the past.
Be as forgiving and accepting of myself as I am of my best friend.
Love unconditionally.
Be generous, not only of things, but of time and spirit.
Allow Good to flourish.
Maintain a positive mental atmosphere.
See the Divine spark in each person.
Be a light, not a judge.
Demonstrate my faith that life is good.
Be the kind of friend I want to have.
Let go and let God.

What I've Learned... Archive

Spring 2006
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Spring 2001