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Challenging Goals? Or Self-Sabotage?

With the coming of a new year, it seems inevitable to set goals, even if we're adverse to making new year's resolutions that we know we'll break within weeks . . . days . . . hours. That is, if you're like me. Maybe you stick to your goals like glue, never wavering, always full of faith you can make them happen. Be forewarned . . . this article isn't for you. But if you're a little like me, and you have trouble keeping those goals in focus . . . well, read on.

I've always had grand dreams, which in turn, take grand goals. I went to my first RWA conference in 1986, and Nora Roberts delivered the keynote address that year. She was celebrating a milestone that year—now I don't remember if it was her 30th or 50th book, but I was struck by how much she had accomplished in so short a time. Her first Silhouette had been published just six years earlier.

So I laid out my own six year plan. I'd sell a book before July 1987, two in 1988, two in 1989, and starting in 1990 I'd sell three books a year, and by the end of 1992 I would have ten books in print. I'd go from unpublished obscurity to the top, where my name would be recognized with the likes of Nora Roberts, Mary Jo Putney, and Susan Elizabeth Phillips. And RWA would be begging me to deliver the keynote address. In my dreams . . .

As you have no doubt guessed, none of that happened. And it wasn't because I didn't work toward my goals. It was because I set goals I couldn't possibly give myself—they weren't within my control!

Is Item No. 1 on your list of goals this: To become a published author this year.

Is Item No. 2 on your list of goals this: To win the Golden Heart (or any other contest) this year.

If so, strike these from your list. To win contests or become published is the thing we all strive for, and the thing we cannot give ourselves. Only someone else can. For a variety of reasons, no matter how perfectly written, your submission may not fit what a publisher wants. To set a goal that says, "By the end of this year, I'm going to be published," is to set yourself up for failure. Publication is the result of practicing and polishing your craft, researching what a publisher is printing, and submitting your work. Those are the things within your control—the cause, if you will. The effect is publication (and yes, rejection, too).

The goals we set in life, including the quest to become a published author, must be ones that we can measure and achieve based on our own initiative. Those goals are the grunt work than can lead to publication or winning contests or achieving fame and fortune. But in and of themselves, they don't have much glamour (darn it) which makes sticking to them hard.

So, that's the bad news. Now, let's get on to what you can do toward making your dreams come true.

1. Dream big. And write them down, no matter how far out they seem. Whether you want to take a cruise around the world or be a New York Times bestseller, let your imagination reign free. All things begin with a thought. Little ones, like what to feed the family for dinner tonight. Big ones, like writing Dream a Little Dream (a fabulous book by Susan Elizabeth Phillips). Out of those dreams will come the things you most want, and more importantly, the price you're willing to pay to have them or become them. This is where you write down your dream to be a published or multi-published author. Do you want your books made into movies, to be featured on Good Morning America, have a fabulous display of your book at the front door of Barnes and Noble? If so, what are the things within your control that make them possible?
   
   Dreams stretch us, make us into something more than we were before embracing a bigger idea of ourselves. Some of the things we dream about we can give ourselves. And some we cannot. There is a price for pursuing your dreams, and only you know what you're willing to pay.

2. Based on your dreams, set out your goals. Again, write them down, no matter how lofty or ambitious. Some will be big that take years to accomplish, such as graduating from college. Some are more modest such as losing that ten pounds you gained over Christmas or finishing your novel. Your goals must be achievable by your own effort and not dependent on the actions or goodwill of someone else. For instance, you may dream of your husband giving you a two-carat diamond—but it can't be your goal because it's beyond your control. Within your control: finishing a book before the kids get out of school at the end of May, polishing your manuscript so you can enter it in a contest, submitting that partial to the next publisher on your list.

3. Divide your goals into actions that you can work on each day. Worrying about whether an editor has read your submission is not an action step, and neither is surfing the net or writing emails to your buddies. Action steps are things like: I will put my posterior in the chair, and I will sit there until I've written 3 pages, even if they are dreck. I will write three hours today. I will finish that character sketch today.
   
   Let's suppose your action steps are in support of finishing a book by a specific deadline about four months from now. And, let's suppose you have a full time job, children, and a LIFE, so you have maybe 20 hours a week to devote to writing. If you're writing a 10 chapter book, you have about two weeks to write each chapter. If you're writing a 20 chapter book, you have 1 week for each one. Either way, that sounds possible, right?
   
   If your chapters are 15 to 20 pages, you have to write only 3 to 4 pages per day to write a chapter a week. And you should be able to take weekends off, which is good since soccer/ hockey/little league is coming. Right?

4. Surround yourself with a support system that uplifts you. To maintain a big goal, such as writing a book, you need people who believe in your dream so they can hold the faith for you when your own gets shaken. And if that hasn't happened yet, trust me, it will. That's where critique groups and online loops come into play. We've all been where ever it is you now are, and we know what that feels like. Does an editor want to see the rest of the manuscript? It's both exhilarating and scary, and other writers have been there. Did a rejection letter come in today's mail? We've been there, too. Does the scene you're currently working on seem about as interesting as cooked oatmeal? Been there, too. Your fellow writers are there to commiserate, offer sympathy, and more important, point you toward solutions.

The following things are important in supporting your goals though they don't relate directly to setting goals and laying out action plan

5. Allow yourself only one whining partner—whining committees are not allowed. When I call my whining partner, I say to her, "I'm calling to whine." She then knows she's supposed to make properly sympathetic noises even if she thinks I'm full of it. When I'm finished, I say, "I'm done now." We don't share what we say with others, and we refrain from judging while we're listening. That way we don't give energy and momentum to the less-than-pleasing things that happen to us, but we still have an outlet for the frustration.

   Bless your gifts without comparing your work to anyone else. You can't write like Jennifer Crusie, Maggie Osborne, Suzanne Brockman, or whomever your favorite author is. You can write only like you. The subtext of this is, be the best you that you can be.

   Be as kind to yourself as you would be to your best friend. Being a writer is both curse and blessing. A blessing because there is always some newly learned technique to apply or a new horizon to strive for. A curse because you're always judging yesterday's work by today's skill. Face it, if you had known how to write better yesterday, you would have. So, put a Post-It on the page that needs fixed, and keep moving forward in your story.

   Celebrate your accomplishments—even the little ones. You don't have live in deprivation until you sell your first book, at which time you're going to Hawaii. Instead, treat yourself to lunch with a friend at your favorite restaurant after you've reached the half-way point in your book.

6. Do something toward the achievement of your goals every single day, no matter how small it may seem at the moment. Add all those little things together, and they amount to a lot. If you don't have time today to write your three pages, write two. Write a paragraph. Write a sentence.

Writers write, whiners whine, publishers publish. Only two of those are within your control When you reassess your goals, it's something to think about. Keep chasing those dreams—people who chase dreams are most likely to catch them, you know.

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